Part 3 of a series on drinking.
In late 2016, I took a 30-day break from booze. It went by fairly easily, and gave me the confidence to get a handle on my drinking.
Armed with good intentions, I began to attend parties with plans to just… drink less. I’d pace myself, and have a glass of water after every drink! Foolproof, right?
Some nights I did better, but oftentimes, not so much. I realized my strategy wasn’t working. So I did some research and decided to try an app (“Intellidrink”) to help me monitor my blood alcohol level.
It was an educational experience. I’d enter in my drinks, and it showed how long they’d take to fully kick in. So even if I didn’t feel drunk, I knew when I’d hit my peak. And it allowed me to set a cap on my target max blood alcohol level. This helped me pace my drinking, and keep from actually getting drunk.
This app was crucial in helping me change my habits. For the most part, I did my best to use it properly, and I was rewarded with fun nights and few regrets. There were 4 or 5 nights in 2017 when I cheated the numbers a little bit, so I could drink more.
It was hard. I missed feeling drunk.
I journaled about it. Honest self-reflection and observation of my behaviour helped me catch my slip-ups, figure out what went wrong, and better set myself up for future success.
Through trial and error, I realized that the easiest and most effective way to avoid overdrinking is… to avoid drinking altogether.
It took time, but that idea went from being horrifying to quite appealing. I slowly began to unlearn my harmful habits. I started passing on wine at dinners, and I became a much more present and thoughtful guest. I started doing breathing exercises at the end of long stressful days, instead of banking on a glass of whisky to numb my brain.
All the time I got back from not drinking, I now invest into myself. Into working on the things that I used to drink to ignore.
And you know what? I feel better. Physically, mentally. And I feel proud of myself where I used to feel ashamed.
Full disclosure: I haven’t 100% cut out drinking forever. I’ll continue to discuss in future posts.
process &
behind-the-scenes
