CW: NUDITY / BODY IMAGE
From early childhood, we pick up on social cues. The rules around what’s acceptable, and what isn’t.
They imprint deeply on us.
It’s hard to pinpoint all the things and events that shaped us into the people we are now. It can be interesting, and sometimes unsettling, to look back and observe the past through an adult lens.
I know I can’t remember everything, or correctly assess / deconstruct my whole life. (And I wouldn’t want to.) But it’s been helpful for me to try and unravel some of the parts that I do remember. In order to find self-acceptance, self-forgiveness. To get over things, and sometimes even have a good (bittersweet) laugh in remembering my ultra-naive younger self.
These days, I’m working on actually loving myself (something I never actively did until … a year or two ago). One way I do this is by making more conscious decisions about what I accept in my life, and in what context.
I am what I eat, and that includes what I consume with my eyes and ears.
P.S. I’m over the nipple thing now, it was a phase I lived through between probably the ages of about 7 to 10. (That being said, it wasn’t the only body image issue I ever faced.)
Kids today still don’t really get to see representation of women’s nipples anywhere. So I’m guessing I’m not the only person on this planet who was a little messed up by that.
process &
behind-the-scenes
I had a really hard time writing this piece.
It’s an awkward thing to talk about. It’s sad, complex, sensitive (lol), and a little bit funny in all its bizarreness. I included some photos of my scribbled words to show the chaos of the writing process.
I had a lot of fun creating the visuals for this piece. (Painting words on a bra, AND writing in a boob-spiral shape!) But photoshopping out my nipples was definitely the most cringe-y and fun.
It’s so weird to me now that that’s what I wanted my boobs to look like.
I hope we are moving towards a world where kids (and all folks) are not made to feel ashamed of their bodies.