Trying to be perfect has stifled my creativity. There are so many projects I never started, and risks I never dared take. (Because I worried that no one would care, or that I might fail, or that people would judge me.)
Trying to be perfect has caused me to hide significant parts of myself, even from the people closest to me. (Because I feared rejection, because I felt I wasn’t good enough once I let my flaws show through.)
Trying to be perfect has led me to be more judgmental of others. (Because if I suffer to hold myself to such a high standard, I’m definitely going to put down anyone who doesn’t meet my expectations.)
Trying to be perfect has kept me from being happy. (Because I am never satisfied. When the goal is perfection, nothing I do will ever be good enough.)
When I let go of perfection, I give myself room to grow.
This excerpt from an article on The Cut hit close to home: “Unhealthy perfectionists treat ideals as goals,” says Schafler, but “healthy perfectionists treat perfection as a North Star, not a destination or directive.” Ideals are supposed to be inspirational, not necessarily achievable — but when you conflate success with perfection, you’re inevitably going to fall short. And when “nothing you do is ever good enough for yourself,” Schafler adds, “often this translates to the similar notion that nothing anyone else does is good enough.”
The article is “5 Ways to Manage Your Type-A Personality” by Anaka Kaundinya. Quotes from Katherine Schafler, a New York–based psychotherapist who specializes in issues surrounding perfectionism.
process &
behind-the-scenes
I don’t really like how this piece turned out. I purposely set out to make it look not perfect—which I achieved—but I can’t help but wish I’d made it look nicer or more interesting.
That being said, I’m still happier posting it than trashing it. I guess I’ll take that as a sign of my changing mindset.
So meta.