“It’s not worth starting if I might not finish. It’s not worth doing if it might not be perfect.”
This is what my brain keeps telling me. I’m trapped in an all or nothing mindset.
So when doing something perfectly seems impossible, I choose doing nothing. Why try? Why risk settling for less?
But you know what? If I don’t have the energy to brush my teeth, it’s still better to at least rinse with mouthwash.
And I guess I’d rather start reading a random book that interests me, knowing damn well I might not finish it, instead of committing only to books with 5-star reviews for the rest of my life.
This project is only able to exist because I’m trying so hard to divorce myself from the “all or nothing” mindset.
A lot of artists on Instagram post EVERY SINGLE DAY. (Just thinking about doing that makes me wanna throw up.) My goal is only to post once a week. And even at that, I’ve missed some weeks. But I’ve decided not to beat myself up for it, I just move on and try my best to have a post for the following week.
I enjoy the act of actually sitting down to make these posts. I love sharing this shit with you. I’m so grateful when you take the time to look, read, and comment. I feel like an actual person making actual things. And other people are actually looking at them. (Is this what being an artist feels like?)
This is my 24th post since August last year. All of my little somethings are slowing adding up to a bigger something. Something I’m proud of, that brings me joy. My little imperfect baby.
Even so, it’s still really hard for me to shake my all or nothing mindset. Sometimes the efforts I make still don’t feel like enough. In like… all the areas of my life.
I’m trying real hard to rewire my brain to embrace this idea of living in the grey zone between “all” and “nothing”.
My “something” zone.
process &
behind-the-scenes
I love me some x-acto cutting.
Except circles. Circles are dumb.
I used tiny little magnets to hold the word “nothing” close together with the background (for less shadow), and I used stacks of the little magnets to elevate the word “something” off the background (for more shadow).