I want to do everything. Perfectly. And on time.
I’ve always been a people-pleaser. The more pressure I allow to be placed on myself, the more pressure I put on myself. To show up, perform, and deliver, both in work and in my relationships.
As I’ve become more aware of this, I’ve had to get comfortable with graciously saying “no” sometimes. This means turning down work (and leaving money on the table). This means missing out on nights out and get-togethers. This means dealing with FOMO — for the sake of self-preservation.
This also means I get to have 8 hours of sleep (almost) every night. I get to spend less money and work less because of it. I’m more selective in when I choose to socialize. So my hangouts with friends and family are less frequent, but more meaningful.
I can’t do it all. And so I’m going to have to let people down sometimes. That’s really hard for me. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be “perfect”, to be everything for everyone, to always meet (or ideally exceed) expectations.
And even though I say “no” more often now, I still feel like there’s not enough time.
But I scramble to do it all anyway. And when I do run out of time, and I miss a deadline or a get-together, I try to forgive myself. Because I’m doing my best, and at the end of the day, that should be enough.
process &
behind-the-scenes
